Stars And Black Holes

This song was a watershed for me in that in writing it I wasn't trying to please anyone. I was just dreaming, and dreaming big, so Two Lefts Right of Wrong got a bit of a creative appearance as far as "my band" is concerned, and hey, this song's just about having fun and living, you know what I mean? It's different, and that's what stands out for me. That and the lonely piano melody in the first verse, but you guys won't be able to hear that just yet.

I'm proud of this one. It came from the heart, and if it doesn't make the album, it'll make the EP, so, in a way, it's a win-win situation.

So here she is, finally. I needed this song.

(Otherwise known as The Life And Times Of a Rock-Paper-Scissors Star)

I spent my nights wishing
I could write songs like a
Rockstar, oh, rockstar
And in my dreams I learnt
How to play guitar;
Now the piano's all I've got
But we've all gotta start
Somewhere, somewhere.

My friends and my band,
La da di, La di da,
And those late, long summer days.
Play our shows, take a bow;
California's sold out
But eachother's all we need anyway.

I spent my nights dreaming
I could sing my heart out
Real loud, oh, real loud
And during those nights
I found my voice.
All my friends gather round
My piano now,
Somehow, somehow.

My friends and my band,
La da di, La di da,
And those late, long summer days.
Play our shows, take a bow;
California's sold out
But eachother's all we need anyway.

So I spent my days hoping
We'd go somewhere fast
In the back of our American jet.
With our bass line and our
Good vibe
Here's something I'll never forget.

Because oh,
My friends and my band,
La da di, La di da,
Help pull me through the days
Play our shows to the crowds
And they cheer us all out
So sing with me just one more time:

My friends and my band,
La da di, La di da,
And those late, long summer days.
Play our shows, take a bow;
California's sold out
But eachother's all we need anyway.

Drive The Freeway

One thing I love about this song is how it let me reuse parts of the unfinished "American Air" scribblings from "That Girl From The Bar At Two In The Morning" for the chorus. The other was how positive the song eventually seems for a break-up song, and how it is, effortlessly, "That Girl From The Bar" part two, in a way. I didn't know I was writing about the same girl, but I was.

It also let me vent this sort of helpless feeling of how you feel when one relationship ends - you just want to get away, and I guess that was a younger me, back from the era of heart-makes and heart-breaks, speaking through this song. Hopefully it resolved some of the issues from my past in the process.

(Otherwise known as Misdirection And Miscarriage Are Not Mutually Exclusive)

"Excuses, excuses," she whispers
As she leaves her coat by the door;
Two years and she still doesn't know
What she's looking for.
He's too reckless with her heart
And too reckless with his head
So now the coat's snatched up
And she's driving again.

And she's driving,
Trying to forget him,
But she's goin' nowhere fast.

She's going nowhere, driving her car.
Ten miles to nowhere, never too far.
Screaming "I wanna forget the world."
Yeah, "I wanna forget the world.
Won't you give me a sign cos I,
I don't know where to turn."

"Miss me not," she whispers.
She knows he can't hear anymore.
A map of the freeway's
Spread out on the floor.
With the coffee to guide her
And a book she's never read,
The coat's on the back seat
And she's driving again.

And she's driving,
Trying to forget him,
But she's goin' nowhere fast.

She's going nowhere, driving her car.
Ten miles to nowhere, never too far.
Screaming "I wanna forget the world."
Yeah, "I wanna forget the world.
Won't you give me a sign cos I,
I don't know where to turn."

A freeway exit,
"Turn left for a new life
Cos now the times are changing."
Tell me that the snow changed what you know,
Like the leaves turn from Summer to Autumn.

And she's driving,
Trying to forget him,
But she's goin' nowhere fast.

She's going nowhere, driving her car.
Ten miles to nowhere, never too far.
Screaming "I wanna forget the world."
Yeah, "I wanna forget the world.
Won't you give me a sign cos I,
I don't know where to turn."

One day you will find
Some peace of mind to believe in.
So drive towards nowhere;
I know you can forget;
I know you'll forget the world.

She sings "Now I'll forget the world,
Cos now I know where to turn.
Now I'll forget the world,
Cos now I know where to turn.
Now I'll forget the world,
Cos now I know where to turn."

Life Is Meant For Living

This song is a bit of a risk for me in all honesty. It's experimental in every sense of the word and that thing that scares me the most about it is how it didn't seem to come from me - no personal experience and a metaphor that even I don't understand. I mean, punk rock's not dead, so I think in this sense it's got a very wide net of explanation for different people in different situations, one of which may be a bad relationship, and the chorus telling you "Listen, who the hell cares? It's over, you're alive, and there's so much more to live for, so get out and do it."

In that way it could possibly be the most positive song I've ever written, even with the slow tempo and sad tone of the verses and this really punk rock/modern rock chorus and bridge. It's different, it changes, it's experimental. Big ups to the movie "Across the Universe", as well as Jack's Mannequin, The Beatles, The Academy Is... and most 21st century modern rock.

(Otherwise known as A Watershed Is More Than Just A New Name For Tears)

Somewhere I heard in a song,
That everything's a piece of everyone.
The piano on my porch was rusted,
On the night punk rock was hung.
The clubs were closed,
The lights were low.
Ghosts wandered the halls.

Punk rock's dead,
But we're alive,
And I think we should
Pour a drink for this town
And go out with a fight,
So tell your mothers, your brothers and sisters:
Live on,
Live on.

Somewhere I heard in a song,
That the innocent die young.
And I had just met you,
On the night punk rock was hung.
The Summer glistened,
The Autumn glowed.
Winter wasn't in sight at all.

Punk rock's dead,
But we're alive,
And I think we should
Pour a drink for this town
And go out with a fight,
So tell your mothers, your brothers and sisters:
Live on,
Live on.

Somewhere I heard in a song,
Somewhere a war was won,
There was love across the universe
On the night punk rock was hung,
And we weren't sure
Where we'd been before.
But it's over now, we've arrived.

Punk rock's dead,
But we're alive,
And I think we should
Pour a drink for this town
And go out with a fight,
So tell your mothers, your brothers and sisters:
Live on,
Live on.

Live, live on and fight,
Just because something's wrong
Doesn't mean something's not right.
Live on, find forgiveness
In the smallest of worlds,
The smallest of places
And I, I believe
Everything's a part of you,
And everything's a part of me,
Right here and right now.

Punk rock's dead,
But we're alive,
And I think we should
Pour a drink for this town
And go out with a fight,
So tell your mothers, your brothers and sisters:
Live on,
Live on.

Come on, come round,
Swoop in and drop out,
Live on, live on.

Amelia Jean

This is a song for my piano. Yes, you read correctly - it's a song for my piano, Amelia Jean. She's named after the song composed by Andrew McMahon for the short film "Choke, California" and after watching it the other night this thing just came to life. Sure, there's the story about the guy chasing the girl who's lonely and perhaps confused, but it's actually a song for my piano. Oh yes. This is a song for my piano.

(Otherwise known as There's A Reason His Motto Is "Just Do It")

Oh Amelia, Amelia Jean,
sitting with her blue jeans and tight sweater,
Amelia,
I heard your boyfriend's taking off
Into the atmosphere tonight
And you need someone to help ease the pain.

Amelia's sending me letters
From her palm-housed beach,
Saying "Oh, I wish you were here."

Come around, come around,
I'm not sure what I'm saying,
But watching the stars fall
Sounds like a good plan, good plan.
Why don't you come and
Watch the stars fall with me
As we travel off into the night?

Oh Amelia, Amelia Jean,
Could no boy know you better,
Amelia,
I heard that we were pretty close
In the Summer,
And you need someone to call your name.

Amelia's sending me letters
From her palm-housed beach,
Saying "Oh, I wish you were here."

Come around, come around,
I'm not sure what I'm saying,
But watching the stars fall
Sounds like a good plan, good plan.
Why don't you come and
Watch the stars fall with me
As we travel off into the night?

So would you like to hear this melody
Unfold like a fine wine,
Drop by drop?
As I'm writin' this song,
You're singing along,
'Cos in truth you're all I've got, Amelia,
Amelia, Amelia,
Oh!

Come around, come around,
I'm not sure what I'm saying,
But watching the stars fall
Sounds like a good plan, good plan.
Why don't you come and
Watch the stars fall with me
As we travel off into the night?

Baby I can't wait to
Kick out my baby grand to
Play you that song I wrote.
And you're still writing me letters
From your palm-housed beach,
And I'll play this for you just one more time...

Come around, come around,
I'm not sure what I'm saying,
But watching the stars fall
Sounds like a good plan, good plan.
Why don't you come and
Watch the stars fall with me
As we travel off into the night?

Owed To The World

This song, for me, is a bit of a nod to The Killers' "Tidal Wave" because that was the melody that lodged itself under my skin, making me able to write the song. The title is a pun on "Ode to the World", as if this song is a poem to the world, but "Owed" also fits nicely because sometimes I feel we don't pay enough homage to the world that we live in, and how God seems to be a forgotten concept in today's modern world. In a way he owes us a better place, and in a way we owe that to ourselves.

So without further adieu, here's Memories Of Ghosts (And Their Memorandums) or, simply, Owed To The World:

The winds blow over on this town,

And it brings with it uncertainty

Under which we seem to drown.

And we had always wondered

Where we're going next.

And all these ghosts they swim around you

As you take it step-by-step.

These politicians they lie to us

And these martyrs they die for us,

Where is God in this?

God only knows.

This fire lights up the sky for us,

And higher it climbs for us,

But in this all I need

Is something to trust.

Years gone start to light up in your eyes,

And it brings with it the friends you loved,

Instead of all the lies.

And it seems you can't remember

Just how far you've come,

So you smile at them all around you,

And the drummers start to drum.

These politicians they lie to us
And these martyrs they die for us,
Where is God in this?
God only knows.
This fire lights up the sky for us,
And higher it climbs for us,
But in this all I need
Is something to trust.

So I'll wrap my arms around you,

Like I'm never letting go,

And I'll let time heal the scars it's made,

And don't you dare go running off

In the middle of the night,

Feel the world all around you,

And get ready to take your flight.

These politicians they lie to us
And these martyrs they die for us,
Where is God in this?
God only knows.
This fire lights up the sky for us,
And higher it climbs for us,
But in this all I need
Is something to trust.

And don't you dare go running off
In the middle of the night,
Feel the world all around you,
And get ready to take your flight.

We knew you would.

Alternate Song Titles

I decided to take a bit of a break from songwriting to focus on getting the year itself over and done with, though there are melodies floating around in my head. It seems I can't get them out. So for now I give you alternate titles for the already penned 14 songs, as well as the new front and back cover album arts. The front cover was inspired a lot by The Killers new record "Day & Age" and the back cover by a painting a friend did.

The back cover of the liner notes will contain the original "broken glass" artwork, for those who were wondering.

Onto the song titles:

• That Girl From The Bar At Two In The Morning OR Baby Better Get A Reason For Leaving Before Somebody Gets Hurt
• Middle of Nowhere OR Who Said Canoes Were An Effective Mode Of Transport?
• The Ins And Outs Of Love OR Cynical Cyanide
• Whitewash OR Hospital Walls That Smell of White and Holy
• Scary Stories OR Girls Fall For Things That Sparkle, Boys Fall For Things That Gleam
• Ciao, Bella OR There's One Thing On My Mind And One Bullet In My Gun
• In Dreams OR If The River Is Everywhere, Where's The Sea?
• Freefall OR Where's the Fire (And Honey, It's Not In My Pants)
• I Will Fight OR Boy, You'll Learn To Swim Soon
• Dream Chaser (Annie's Lullaby) OR The Only Thing You Don't Want To Hear Is The Only News I Have
• Waterworks OR The Love of Death (And Death of Love)
• What We Believe OR Ultimatums Are The Ultimate Secret Weapon
• Slow Song OR If Seasons Changed As Quick As Your Mind We'd All Be Dead By Now
• Autumns OR You Lie So Conveniently - Are You A Politician?

Autumns

This song is kinda weird in that it stemmed from a friend of mine, in essence going "C'mon, write me a song", like in "Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby)". This is, in a way, my own Andrew McMahon moment, and I joked around with it - "You'll have to give me a keyboard and a beautiful night". Then I came out with this pure, rainy melody and these tranquil lyrics. They bled from every pore of me until this was what was left:

She said give me a keyboard,

Give me a beautiful night,

This song will bleed from every pore

Until I get it right.

I can hear you singing, singing underground

Singing look at all the love I've found.

In the autumn, my dear,
You seem swept away,
And the world is too much for you.
But don't stop singing, singing,
Cos I can hear your voice
When the sky's half grey and half blue.

Give me the starlight,

Give me the moon shining down,

Oh and watch as our

Love drowns.

I can see you watching the river

Singing of oh, how the moonlight drowns.

In the autumn, my dear,
You seem swept away,
And the world is too much for you.
But don't stop singing, singing,
Cos I can hear your voice
When the sky's half grey and half blue.

Oh, give me hope

That tomorrow will start anew,

My future's my present,

My present's my past

And these flowers bloom

Bloom in a garden,

And grow along the road,

That seems lost in your reds

And your yellows.

In the autumn, my dear,

You seem swept away,

And the world is too much for you.

But don't stop singing, singing,

Cos I can hear your voice

When the sky's half grey and half blue.

I can hear you singing, singing underground

Singing look at all the love I've found...

In the autumn, my dear,

You seem swept away...

Slow Song

I find it so weird at this point to have drafted a 13th completed song to actually be considered in the drafting of this album, but I love that I sat down and actually wrung it out last night. That's probably why there's the reference about having to finish the song in there. Again, it's a bit of a love song, about that realisation maybe that you can be there, and be safe with them.

I really should stop talking about love. At least, this much. Maybe that's just where I am right now.

All these slow songs

Roll off my tongue

While I ask you why the night's

Running slow

Like an old worn out watch

We threw away months ago.

And I know that

If I don't get this song finished soon

I'll never finish it,

Cos I'll be thinking of you.

And just how do you guide me through this

Cloud-filled storm

Of fear, and love, And the view from your window?

Honey, find a slow song

We just wanna dance to,

Because there's a storm raging;

A hurricane.

Through all the thunder, and the sparks

Watch the clock:

Time's running thin now, oh,

But we never stop.

This town, this town

Bleeds from every pore

It's the same shade of red

I've come to know:

The shade of your lips,

The blood in your cheeks...

Honey, find a slow song
We just wanna dance to,
Because there's a storm raging;
A hurricane.
Through all the thunder, and the sparks
Watch the clock:
Time's running thin now, oh,
But we never stop.

The storm has run its course,

And the Autumn comes down

Like the rain of Summer,

Slow down, it's only normal,

Speed up, you never listened anyway.

And one day you may find,

The world's been changing like the leaves,

Time's left you behind,

But honey you'll always have me.

Ticking clocks speed our lives,

"Make sure you heed us, lest you die"

But there's an answer to this problem,

Listen closely... Slow song.

What We Believe

This thing just sprung from me after reading someone's take on a backwards version of "Dark Blue" by Jack's Mannequin and I developed some of those ideas into what you see here. I think this time you've got inspiration from, of course, Jack's Mannequin and a lot of old Coldplay (Warning Signs and others from A Rush Of Blood To The Head). What's the song about? I guess it's just about feeling like you're really made for someone, and maybe even convincing them that that's true, no matter what you've done wrong in the past. You're trying to tell them to not believe all the lies, forget the wrong you've done, and telling them that, no matter what, to never change who they are for others.

I'm lonely, I'm lonely,
You're here but I'm lonely,
It's just you and me.
I won't stop until I'm done,
Don't leave me now, cos I'm not done.

Don't stop being you,
We believe we can be.
You were made for me.
You're here with me.
And when the rain burns the whole town
Together we will leave.

Turn away from the lie,
Yes I believe, yes I believe
You're a part of heaven.
I'm always by your side,
And we believe, we believe
You were made for me.

I was gone once, gone once,
And the crime it was red
Like the roads that led me away,
Away from you. Enough said.
We'll make it through.

Don't stop being you,
We believe we can be.
You were made for me.
You're here with me.

Turn away from the lie,
Yes I believe, yes I believe
You're a part of heaven.
I'm always by your side,
And we believe, we believe
You were made for me.

They said we believe, we believe
That you were made for me.
The astronauts fall from the sky,
Long lost, long gone, but not me.

No, not me.

Waterworks

This song had actually had the most amazing chorus sitting around for ages before (after three or four different variations) I picked up the current verse/bridge set, which I feel really fits the song. The concept picture's maybe a little strange, but for me it personfies the whole "Emerge from the water" motif. Basically the song's about... I guess it's about someone who's really just hurting inside, and I'm just addressing that and going "Hey, I care, okay? I still need you here, I still need you in my life, so there's no way I'm giving up on you."

It's been a while
Since the rain poured down like this.
I can't see through the haze.
Are you bound?
Are you broken?
Let the waters wash you away.

As I feel the rain,
Memories burn like fire again,
But our skies are clear
As far as I can see.

Emerge from the water,
Now I can see, now I can see
Crystal clearly: I'm alive.
Excuse me for a moment,
I've been drowning for a while
In your eyes.

It's been a while
Since we saw a day like this.
You are all I can see.
Where are you now?
Are you near?
Feel the tide pull you under.

Emerge from the water,
Now I can see, now I can see
Crystal clearly: I'm alive.
Excuse me for a moment,
I've been drowning for a while
In your eyes.

As the rain pours down
On this '66 town,
I need you more than ever.
I need you, so I call your name.
I need you, so I call your name.

Emerge from the water,
Now I can see, now I can see
Crystal clearly: I'm alive.
Excuse me for a moment,
I've been drowning for a while
In your eyes.

I'm so cold, bring me round.
You're so tired, I won't let you drown,
Cos I need you now...
I need you.

Our skies are clear,As far as I can see.

Dream Chaser (Annie's Lullaby)

It's tough to say what inspired this song, and, amazingly, it's not actually a combination of "Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby)" and "Annie Use Your Telescope", it's actually just a lullaby. The melody's extremely simple, though at this point I'm not sure whether I want it acoustic or electric. The weird thing is the reversion in the fourth verse to the original melody, but that's because I felt the bridge fitted better in the third verse's place. I think that, in the end, my best friend inspired this song. She told me she needed a lullaby. Trouble sleeping, personal problems, the whole deal. Hopefully this is exactly what she needed. Cheers, enjoy this, because I'm in love with it.

Sleep, sleep well,

Sleep fair, I'm here.

We all fall sometimes,

So you don't have to fear.

I'm protecting you, you're safe,

Stay for a while,

Hear me say:

If you can't sleep

I'll chase your nightmares away, away.

What do you need?

It's just a dream, a dream.

From your necklace the moonlight gleams...

That's all I need.

Live, live well,

Live fair, I'm here.

Sometimes we all feel we're lost,

But I'll find you, don't cry,

Stay here for a while,

Hear me say:

If you can't sleep
I'll chase your nightmares away, away.
What do you need?
It's just a dream, a dream.
From your necklace the moonlight gleams...
That's all I need.

It's just another lullaby

As we dance around the room

And I'm writing this song for you.

We're spinning and spinning,

And you're slipping, you're slipping

To sleep.

If you can't sleep
I'll chase your nightmares away, away.
What do you need?
It's just a dream, a dream.
From your necklace the moonlight gleams...
That's all I need.

Dream, dream well,

Dream fair, I'm here.

And this lullaby puts you to sleep -

You're flying now, be free!

Lay here, while you sleep,

Hear me say:

If you can't sleep
I'll chase your nightmares away, away.
What do you need?
It's just a dream, a dream.
From your necklace the moonlight gleams...
That's all I need.

I Will Fight

This song is my simple song. It's long, but it's simple, and I really love how it turned out. Inspiration-wise I think I'm quoting "I Need You" and "Dear Jack", both sung by Andrew McMahon. I really got an inspiration from their simplicity and their strong messages, especially "You were a fighter, you were the kid against the world, the world that couldn't seem to keep you down" in "Dear Jack". I don't think mine's of quite that calibre, but I love it.

Oh, oh my friends,
This night is coming to an end,
Unnoticed.
We’ll stay and
I, I will fight.

And I will fight for the end
When we’re going down.
And I will fight for the world and its sorrow –
The light will shine through tomorrow.
I will fight.

Dear, dear love,
As we spin above the room,
Oblivious.
They’ll try to shake us so
I, I will fight.

And I will fight for the end
When we’re going down.
And I will fight for the world and its sorrow –
The light will shine through tomorrow.
I will fight.

Sweet, sweet time,
You take from us our many loves.
It seems your control’s
Out of reach so
I, I will fight.

And I will fight for the end
When we’re going down.
And I will fight for the world and its sorrow –
The light will shine through tomorrow.
I will fight.

Great, great fate,
This is the fate I choose,
So willingly.
So willingly
I, I will fight.

And I will fight for the end
When we’re going down.
And I will fight for the world and its sorrow –
The light will shine through tomorrow.
I will fight.

Good friend, you’re so brave,
And the sun lights your room.
I, I will fight,
And I will fight for you.

I will fight.

Freefall

This song really just seemed to flow out of me. I sat down to write with no idea in my head and a blank piece of paper and perhaps a line from Jack's Mannequin's "Hammers and Strings (A lullaby)". So I started to write, and I came out wth one of the purest sort of really rockin' songs I've written in a while. It's also really positive. I can't wait to work on this.

This shadows been following me
All around town. Nothing's wrong.
But there's this feeling I've been having:
We just might fall.

We just might fall but
We're alive and we're well.
We're still fighting.
We just might fall into the unknown until we realise
We've survived.
We're still here.

This won't last forever
I'm thinking, though I want it to last.
All I know for sure is that
We might fall.

We just might fall but
We're alive and we're well.
We're still fighting.
We just might fall into the unknown until we realise
We've survived.
We're still here.

This stranger's been
Grabbing at my back, and my stranger's me.
I'm not sure where I'm going,
So we might fall.

So we might fall but
We're alive and we're well.
We're still fighting.
We might fall into the unknown until we realise
We've survived.
We're still here.

The future's unsure, yeah,
We know it and we're looking for what's hidden.
But when you fall you get back up again.
Just try one more time.

We just might fall but
We're alive and we're well.
We're still fighting.
We just might fall into the unknown until we realise
We've survived.
We're still here.

In Dreams

This is possibly probably one of the first songs where I have to thank Ben Folds and his new album, "Way to Normal" - specifically the songs "Cologne" and "Kylie from Connecticut", of which I ripped the latter's melody as a ghost melody for the song and also stole the line "She closes her eyes" which inspired the whole thing. This song is kinda like my baby, ballad wise, because it just speaks about something I really believe in and a quality I really love, and that's the whole issue of love blossoming. I dunno if it'll make the album, but the concept is something I really like - now I just have to rework the melody so Mr Folds doesn't sue me.

She closes her eyes,

and she's dreaming of the last thing on her mind.

How did he swoop in

And sweep her off her feet?

He closes his mind,

So that she can't read his eyes.

He's always been waiting in the wings,

And he's so cavalier that he offers a grin.

As the frozen rose falls

She's drifting into her helpless unknown.

And how and when does she know

Where she wants to be?

He calms her nerves

Cos she's in a panic

And she can't think straight anymore.

He's always there,

The friend that no one could better.

She closes her eyes,

And it's easy to sleep

with her life by her side.

They never would've guessed it,

But life works in mysterious ways.

He closes his eyes,

On another day, much the same.

Nothing had changed

But his reason to live.

And they feel alive,

For once in their lives,

There is someone who cares.

Stars light the night

As they close their eyes.

As they close their eyes.

Ciao, Bella

Surprisingly enough this is about one of my best friends, the "Bella" reference is from the book "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer and is used because that's one of "things". Basically this song is just about trying to find out how close I am to her, if we're okay. We've been through a lot of really rough times lately, and this is just addressing it and going "Okay, there's all I have, and I poured it out for you. Are we okay now?"

Holding hands in the parking lot
Of your favourite movie,
We went to dinner at that cafe on the corner
Of 5th and Main,
And you ordered your favourite
Strawberry Smoothie,
And we're feeling much the same.

Where do we stand in our beliefs
Of each other's happiness?
What needs to change to make things right?
Where's it all gone?I think it left us for a spell
As we hear our hearts swell,
And break.

We've got a mess on our hands
As we sit on the steps.
In your front yard, we cried.
It's such a beautiful night,
And you were blinded by the headlights,
Beautifully mesmerised.

Where do we stand in our beliefs
Of each other's happiness?
What needs to change to make things right?
Where's it all gone?I think it left us for a spell
As we hear our hearts swell,
And break.

"Oh Bella, oh Bella," we cry,
"What're we gonna do with you?"
We could send you away,
Take our time to mend this.
And Bella, oh Bella, oh why?
Oh, how did we end up like this?
And Bella, Oh Bella, tonight
We're going back.

Where do we stand in our beliefs
Of each other's happiness?
What needs to change to make things right?
Where's it all gone?I think it left us for a spell
As we hear our hearts swell,
And break.

Oh Bella, oh Bella, this night,
It's flawless, just like you.
And why, oh why
Do we try so hard?
I'm playing my last card.

And tonight, tonight:
Oh, Bella,
Where do we stand?
Oh, Bella,
Our words in our hands,
Oh, Bella,
The night will come through for us.
Oh, Bella,
There's no need to fear,
Oh, Bella,
Cos I'm always here,
And Bella, I'll protect you with my life.
You're all I've got forever,
Tonight.

Scary Stories

This song really just came from an incident where I thought back on everyone who'd forgotten me once upon a time and the process for me of forgiving them and moving on, even though the prospect of the unknown is usually pretty scary, it paints a picture of a hopeful unknown. I'm just hoping it's just that:

We are the stars exploding,

But we've exploded in your eyes,

We are the ghost unnoticed

In your lullaby tonight.

And we don't know what we're gonna do,

And we don't know don't know where to start,

We ’re finding our way out of this,

Guided by broken hearts.

And It's okay,

There's nothing to fear here tonight,

I'm just writin' this lullaby

'cos I'm finally feeling alright,

I'm letting go of all the things I used to know,

While I’m writing this for you tonight.

And we go unnoticed

As we float through your life,

But it’s okay now,

You’re trying to make things right.

Stars burst as we float on

And we’re writing this ghost song.

We float on and we find our reason,

In a lullaby.

And It's okay,

There's nothing to fear here tonight,

I'm just writin' this lullaby

'cos I'm finally feeling alright,

I'm letting go of all the things I used to know,

While I’m writing this for you tonight.

These scary stories

Of vampires and of ghosts,

They haunt us, and we feel lost.

But we’ve found our reason,

Something to believe in,

And we’re finally feeling alright.

And It's okay,

There's nothing to fear here tonight,

I'm just writin' this lullaby

'cos I'm finally feeling alright,

I'm letting go of all the things I used to know,

While I’m writing this for you tonight.

(It’s okay), sing us to sleep.

(It’s okay), sing us to sleep.

(It’s okay), sing us to sleep.

Sleep.

The Gift of Music

In the absence of a new song (as I haven't been able to sit down to a writing session this week, so nothing new has sprung up) here is another piece of writing - a "journal entry", if you will. This was the aftermath of "middle of nowhere" and really got me questioning the world around me while I look for something that may or may not be deluding me (I'm not quite sure yet...)

And I give you this confession: I wanna hear some music. I want the music to come crashing down on me so at last I can hear the angels speak. Not through tongues, but the language that every young mind speaks, where the spirit of some God the majority of society does not understand does not need to descend and bestow upon us some mystery that will remain a mystery.

I want the gift that is inside all of us. Not through baptism or ritual, or renewal of a faith that seems destined to die, but the gift that is simply locked away, waiting for a key that, perhaps, no conscious part of us can ever develop.

So how do we unlock the music? I think all that is needed is to try one's very best at being their very best. Then, perhaps, some inspiration may come along and find us worthy of a unique key to a unique lock, so that we may finally break free of arguments and contract, lyrically binding, in order to reach the furthest parts of our spirit to write lyrics that can finally touch the hearts and minds of those who are having good days, bad days, or perhaps just an exhausting life.

Having the gift of music is having the power to touch lives, to change them and to inspire beyond measure. It's the gift that allows music to flow through our very being on the first listen, as if it's injected straight into our bloodstream (I need music in my bloodstream so I take music to the bloodstream), and that's why the youth of today breathe, talk, and live music. It has this mesmerising property whereby you are obliged to listen, and at last hear the language of angels.

I think that if sitting on my bede in the middle of the middle of nowhere has taught me anything it's that when you're living for something, live it big; if you wanna sing out, sing out; finding the music in your life is not always easy, but the search never stoops to boring and if there's one thing I'll be praying for until my hope and inspiration arrive, it'll be for the gift of music, so that it will, in the end, all come crashin'.

The Best of Jack's Mannequin

This is basically just a concept I always wanted to get done, and with my friend in Italy with leukemia I really had this inspiration and incentive to get something like "The Best of Jack's Mannequin" done. This was also, as Jack's Mannequin largely is, a huge source of inspiration for "All These Lost Pictures", so I thought I'd get the idea out there mainly because Andrew McMahon went through the same sort of thing my friend did and came out on the other side really positive with this real lust for life.

For me this music is still unforgettable.

My Personal Best of Jack's Mannequin:

1. I'm Ready

2. The Mixed Tape

3. Swim

4. The Resolution

5. What Gets You Off?

6. La La Lie

7. Crashin' (feat. Stacy Clark)

8. Hammers and Strings (A lullaby)

9. Dark Blue

10. Kill The Messenger

11. Rescued

12. Spinning (feat. Stacy Clark)

The "Overseas" setlist:

1. I'm Ready

2. The Mixed Tape

3. Swim

4. The Resolution

5. Dark Blue

6. The Lights and Buzz

7. Hammers and Strings (A lullaby)

8. Spinning (feat. Stacy Clark)

9. Annie Use Your Telescope

10. La La Lie

11. Crashin' (feat. Stacy Clark)

12. Caves

You'll see that not much has changed with the two lists, so why, you may ask, do I have two? It's simply that the second list (the one I'm sending) is a lot more positive and it depicts a more "hope in hopeless situations" motif, to give the guy hope and a real reason to pull through. My playlist includes songs that I personally love and that are musically amazing, and that mean a lot to me, but I'd hate to bum anyone out, so that's why I changed up some tracks for the "international" version.

I'd give you guys a biography for Jack's Mannequin, but those who know me won't need it.

Jack's Mannequin is, quite simply, my breath from the breathing.

Our Summer Year

In the absence of any completed song for today's entry I thought I'd take you guys "behind the scenes" into one of the more creative processes of getting inspiration for this project - I made a mixtape, or, actually, a mixCD of the high school experience that is still, as it will ever be, eluding me.

The whole idea for the thing started when I was listening to "Fast Times at Barrington High" by "The Academy Is...", and I couldn't help but think just how high school-esque the album sounded, and, coupled with my ongoing pursuit to make the ultimate mixtape, I decided to craft a high school experience I never had to give myself an insight into that sort of life, thinking it'd help churn out songs that perhaps a lot of people could relate to.

For me, this mixtape is my summer year, and it's my hope in the hopelessness for the coming few months, if only to the point where this CD keeps me healthy and happy. This is one hell of an achievement for me, and I've got music to thank, once again, because it seems to rescue me every time I go under.

Here's what I came up with:

SIDE A

1. I'm Ready (snippet) - Jack's Mannequin

2. Holiday from Real - Jack's Mannequin

3. Hurricane - Something Corporate

4. A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" - Fall Out Boy

5. Change Your Mind - The Killers

6. Feeling This - Blink-182

7. The Mixed Tape (snippet) - Jack's Mannequin

8. When It Rains - Paramore

9. Breakout - Miley Cyrus

10. Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte

11. Mr Brightside - The Killers

12. Nine In The Afternoon - Panic at the Disco

13. Hammers and Strings (A lullaby) (snippet) - Jack's Mannequin

SIDE B

1. Automatic Eyes (Remastered) - The Academy Is...

2. About A Girl - The Academy Is...

3. Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy

4. Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate

5. Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy

6. That's What You Get - Paramore

7. Hey Beautiful (snippet) - The Solids

8. Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequin

9. When You Were Young (Jacques Lucont's Thin White Duke Remix - Radio Edit) - The Killers

10. Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye

11. Take My Hand (Machine Shop Remix feat. Cassadee from Hey Monday) - The Cab

12. Paper Chase - The Academy Is...

13. Folkin' Around - Panic at the Disco

And there you have it. My Summer Year. There are also these little blips on the record, like static, cheering and applause. There's even a little thing that reminds you "Oh yeah, everything's fine." At the end, you'll be complying with the "Now press repeat", I think, because I love this mixtape, and I'm damn proud of myself.

Whitewash

This song is extremely personal, for me in that I think it touches on, perhaps, a sensitive issue of getting sick and what made this song harder to write was that I was wasn't writing it first hand so much as I was writing about this guy whose courage and determination really inspires me. It isn't (for those of you who know me) about Andrew McMahon, but rather about a friend who's pretty close to me, and I thought he'd enjoy hearing something like this, just to help him out.

Walls whiter than the sheets

You're lying on,

And you're constantly waking

With the dawn,

But you know it won't take long

For your escape.

Boy, you've got confidence,

And boy, you've got faith,

And you're dreaming up these things in your head.

And when the marrows burn through,

Your reason, she'll find you,

And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

You wait forever

For the same reply,

And it's one that you've heard

A thousand times.

But you'll be fine,

Yeah, you'll be fine.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

You got your vacation holiday

that feels like your working year.

And the people back home,

How we miss you,

Cos without you life doesn't seem fair.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

Hop that plane whiter than the sheets

You were lying on.

Escape to us once again

On our summer night.

Our best friend,

You'll be fine,

You'll be fine.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

You've got time to rediscover your life,

You've got time to rediscover your faith,

There's nothing to worry about,

Cos you'll get out,

And you know we won't be late.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

And you're in a whitewash...

But you'll be fine,

You'll be fine.

Whitewash...

I wrote this down for him so he could read it, and I know that one day he will - I just hope I'm there to see it.

The Ins and Outs of Love

This is, well I guess this is a song, and it's a song about a girl. It's funny how a friend of mine commented on how the snippet "I've found what I'm lookin' for" made her think of falling in love which made me think of "the chase", the courtship, but when the inspiration finally struck to finish this song I was looking out of my window, and here you have it - comfortably in love - awed, even.

We were watching stars fall from your porch
While I marveled in the beauty of your eyes,
And all was dark but the light of your torch,
Thank God I’m alive.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

From the hair that sweeps your eyes
On a lonely Summer night, and that
I never wanna be anywhere else.
From the way you laugh “hello”
And they way you’re never letting go,
I’m mesmerized.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

“Stay with me”, you say,
“Lift your eyes unto the moment.”
We’re lying there, flying free.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.
Nowhere I’d rather be.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

Nature’s dancing to your sound
That’s hushed
Like a shooting star,
And I’m driving the miles,
And I’m travellin’ far
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

Thank God I’m alive.
Thank God I’m alive.

Thank God I’m alive.

This is running on a bit of a funkier "American Love" melody, but acoustically it'll turn out beautifully. This song kinda spawned the "Our Summer Year" "sessions", if I could even call it that. I'm really proud of this thing.

Middle of Nowhere

I'm still not exactly sure how I spawned this little song, but it definately has to do with a time in my life where I was feelings kinda lost with the world and my life until I realised you can't just sit around waiting for something to happen, you've gotta take it into your own hands and actually make the most of what you're given. I think that's a thread there is to this entire album, or where a lot of my ideas are headed towards: hope in hopeless situations, kinda like "The Glass Passenger". Thank God for Andrew McMahon.

As the cars pass the highway,

The planes are taking off,

And we're in the middle,

And we're feeling lost.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

And the circles spin of their own accord,

And we all just play along.

The feeling of being, the feeling of doing,

The feeling of everything wrong.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

Life's more than the static

That surges through the

Power of the unknown,

While standing still

We saw a world

Out of our control.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

With peace looming on the horizon,

We're beginning to realise where we went wrong

In not moving forward, and living in the past,

When all it took was a single step

To make the present last.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

And we're breaking free of this cycle,

Hearing past the silent sound,

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

But we're going somewhere now.

Hope seems to hide when you need it most, but eventually the game of hide-and-seek where you're left waiting for hope and inspiration is over.

That Girl From The Bar At Two In The Morning

This is probably the first song I "mastered" lyrically for this album. It's about a girl who has a paradigm shift, tired of all the meaningless sex in a meaningless life, rebelling from everything she was ever taught and everyone she has ever loved. She needs to sort it all and start over, find her hope, and learn to fly again.

She fixes her hair on a Saturday night,

And it's just routine, and it's not alright,

And she's a little conservative,

Like her mother taught her to be.

And her head's all abuzz,

With her dress lying low,

Wondering if her boy,

If he ever would know.

'Cos he means nothing,

But everything to her.

The broken window let the light in,

And she's leaving the bed sheets,

All drenched in sin,

And he means everything,

But nothing to her.

She's driving away at 3 in the morning,

Leaving her conquest without any warning.

Leaving to find her hope

On an broken road,

And she's chasing the darkness

And finding her light.

She's chasing fairies in the dark,

And she's trying to find her hope

Beneath the light of an empty street lamp.

There was no fairy to be found

But she found the wings on the ground,

And she's learning to fly again.

She fixes her hair on a Saturday night,

And it's all okay, everything's alright,

And she could be anything she wanted to be

So she just plucked from her hair her lucky clover

And promised herself she was starting over.

And starting over...

It's a bit of a ballad, however much or however little I tried to avoid it.

The Concept

All The Lost Pictures is sort of like a coping mechanism on my own time, and it's become a bit of a project of sorts where by the end of the 15 or so songs I'll probably end up spewing out it'll all be sort of cut and polished and compiled into a lyrical album of sorts, with a visual companion sort of thing like the liner notes to a CD and you'll have like all the little journal pieces I wrote with that and that'll be put into a book, just to sort of give me inspiration through the downtime, and then maybe from that I'll look into producing my own little rough cut of like the instruments and get a bit of a makeshift album in the process, but that's still far off.

So basically, it's an album in its own right, and here's where I'll post finished lyrics, revised lyrics, artwork and the little journal pieces where I talk about what inspired the album and the writing sessions and a lot of the little pieces (like the current "journal entry", the Our Summer Year mixtape), and hopefully some people will actually follow me through the process of making this metaphorical album. I'll also post up little bits about certain bands and photos and whatever's giving me inspiration along the way.

So why don't you join me? It'll be one hell of a ride.