Scary Stories

This song really just came from an incident where I thought back on everyone who'd forgotten me once upon a time and the process for me of forgiving them and moving on, even though the prospect of the unknown is usually pretty scary, it paints a picture of a hopeful unknown. I'm just hoping it's just that:

We are the stars exploding,

But we've exploded in your eyes,

We are the ghost unnoticed

In your lullaby tonight.

And we don't know what we're gonna do,

And we don't know don't know where to start,

We ’re finding our way out of this,

Guided by broken hearts.

And It's okay,

There's nothing to fear here tonight,

I'm just writin' this lullaby

'cos I'm finally feeling alright,

I'm letting go of all the things I used to know,

While I’m writing this for you tonight.

And we go unnoticed

As we float through your life,

But it’s okay now,

You’re trying to make things right.

Stars burst as we float on

And we’re writing this ghost song.

We float on and we find our reason,

In a lullaby.

And It's okay,

There's nothing to fear here tonight,

I'm just writin' this lullaby

'cos I'm finally feeling alright,

I'm letting go of all the things I used to know,

While I’m writing this for you tonight.

These scary stories

Of vampires and of ghosts,

They haunt us, and we feel lost.

But we’ve found our reason,

Something to believe in,

And we’re finally feeling alright.

And It's okay,

There's nothing to fear here tonight,

I'm just writin' this lullaby

'cos I'm finally feeling alright,

I'm letting go of all the things I used to know,

While I’m writing this for you tonight.

(It’s okay), sing us to sleep.

(It’s okay), sing us to sleep.

(It’s okay), sing us to sleep.

Sleep.

The Gift of Music

In the absence of a new song (as I haven't been able to sit down to a writing session this week, so nothing new has sprung up) here is another piece of writing - a "journal entry", if you will. This was the aftermath of "middle of nowhere" and really got me questioning the world around me while I look for something that may or may not be deluding me (I'm not quite sure yet...)

And I give you this confession: I wanna hear some music. I want the music to come crashing down on me so at last I can hear the angels speak. Not through tongues, but the language that every young mind speaks, where the spirit of some God the majority of society does not understand does not need to descend and bestow upon us some mystery that will remain a mystery.

I want the gift that is inside all of us. Not through baptism or ritual, or renewal of a faith that seems destined to die, but the gift that is simply locked away, waiting for a key that, perhaps, no conscious part of us can ever develop.

So how do we unlock the music? I think all that is needed is to try one's very best at being their very best. Then, perhaps, some inspiration may come along and find us worthy of a unique key to a unique lock, so that we may finally break free of arguments and contract, lyrically binding, in order to reach the furthest parts of our spirit to write lyrics that can finally touch the hearts and minds of those who are having good days, bad days, or perhaps just an exhausting life.

Having the gift of music is having the power to touch lives, to change them and to inspire beyond measure. It's the gift that allows music to flow through our very being on the first listen, as if it's injected straight into our bloodstream (I need music in my bloodstream so I take music to the bloodstream), and that's why the youth of today breathe, talk, and live music. It has this mesmerising property whereby you are obliged to listen, and at last hear the language of angels.

I think that if sitting on my bede in the middle of the middle of nowhere has taught me anything it's that when you're living for something, live it big; if you wanna sing out, sing out; finding the music in your life is not always easy, but the search never stoops to boring and if there's one thing I'll be praying for until my hope and inspiration arrive, it'll be for the gift of music, so that it will, in the end, all come crashin'.

The Best of Jack's Mannequin

This is basically just a concept I always wanted to get done, and with my friend in Italy with leukemia I really had this inspiration and incentive to get something like "The Best of Jack's Mannequin" done. This was also, as Jack's Mannequin largely is, a huge source of inspiration for "All These Lost Pictures", so I thought I'd get the idea out there mainly because Andrew McMahon went through the same sort of thing my friend did and came out on the other side really positive with this real lust for life.

For me this music is still unforgettable.

My Personal Best of Jack's Mannequin:

1. I'm Ready

2. The Mixed Tape

3. Swim

4. The Resolution

5. What Gets You Off?

6. La La Lie

7. Crashin' (feat. Stacy Clark)

8. Hammers and Strings (A lullaby)

9. Dark Blue

10. Kill The Messenger

11. Rescued

12. Spinning (feat. Stacy Clark)

The "Overseas" setlist:

1. I'm Ready

2. The Mixed Tape

3. Swim

4. The Resolution

5. Dark Blue

6. The Lights and Buzz

7. Hammers and Strings (A lullaby)

8. Spinning (feat. Stacy Clark)

9. Annie Use Your Telescope

10. La La Lie

11. Crashin' (feat. Stacy Clark)

12. Caves

You'll see that not much has changed with the two lists, so why, you may ask, do I have two? It's simply that the second list (the one I'm sending) is a lot more positive and it depicts a more "hope in hopeless situations" motif, to give the guy hope and a real reason to pull through. My playlist includes songs that I personally love and that are musically amazing, and that mean a lot to me, but I'd hate to bum anyone out, so that's why I changed up some tracks for the "international" version.

I'd give you guys a biography for Jack's Mannequin, but those who know me won't need it.

Jack's Mannequin is, quite simply, my breath from the breathing.

Our Summer Year

In the absence of any completed song for today's entry I thought I'd take you guys "behind the scenes" into one of the more creative processes of getting inspiration for this project - I made a mixtape, or, actually, a mixCD of the high school experience that is still, as it will ever be, eluding me.

The whole idea for the thing started when I was listening to "Fast Times at Barrington High" by "The Academy Is...", and I couldn't help but think just how high school-esque the album sounded, and, coupled with my ongoing pursuit to make the ultimate mixtape, I decided to craft a high school experience I never had to give myself an insight into that sort of life, thinking it'd help churn out songs that perhaps a lot of people could relate to.

For me, this mixtape is my summer year, and it's my hope in the hopelessness for the coming few months, if only to the point where this CD keeps me healthy and happy. This is one hell of an achievement for me, and I've got music to thank, once again, because it seems to rescue me every time I go under.

Here's what I came up with:

SIDE A

1. I'm Ready (snippet) - Jack's Mannequin

2. Holiday from Real - Jack's Mannequin

3. Hurricane - Something Corporate

4. A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me" - Fall Out Boy

5. Change Your Mind - The Killers

6. Feeling This - Blink-182

7. The Mixed Tape (snippet) - Jack's Mannequin

8. When It Rains - Paramore

9. Breakout - Miley Cyrus

10. Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte

11. Mr Brightside - The Killers

12. Nine In The Afternoon - Panic at the Disco

13. Hammers and Strings (A lullaby) (snippet) - Jack's Mannequin

SIDE B

1. Automatic Eyes (Remastered) - The Academy Is...

2. About A Girl - The Academy Is...

3. Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy

4. Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate

5. Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy

6. That's What You Get - Paramore

7. Hey Beautiful (snippet) - The Solids

8. Dark Blue - Jack's Mannequin

9. When You Were Young (Jacques Lucont's Thin White Duke Remix - Radio Edit) - The Killers

10. Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye

11. Take My Hand (Machine Shop Remix feat. Cassadee from Hey Monday) - The Cab

12. Paper Chase - The Academy Is...

13. Folkin' Around - Panic at the Disco

And there you have it. My Summer Year. There are also these little blips on the record, like static, cheering and applause. There's even a little thing that reminds you "Oh yeah, everything's fine." At the end, you'll be complying with the "Now press repeat", I think, because I love this mixtape, and I'm damn proud of myself.

Whitewash

This song is extremely personal, for me in that I think it touches on, perhaps, a sensitive issue of getting sick and what made this song harder to write was that I was wasn't writing it first hand so much as I was writing about this guy whose courage and determination really inspires me. It isn't (for those of you who know me) about Andrew McMahon, but rather about a friend who's pretty close to me, and I thought he'd enjoy hearing something like this, just to help him out.

Walls whiter than the sheets

You're lying on,

And you're constantly waking

With the dawn,

But you know it won't take long

For your escape.

Boy, you've got confidence,

And boy, you've got faith,

And you're dreaming up these things in your head.

And when the marrows burn through,

Your reason, she'll find you,

And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

You wait forever

For the same reply,

And it's one that you've heard

A thousand times.

But you'll be fine,

Yeah, you'll be fine.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

You got your vacation holiday

that feels like your working year.

And the people back home,

How we miss you,

Cos without you life doesn't seem fair.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

Hop that plane whiter than the sheets

You were lying on.

Escape to us once again

On our summer night.

Our best friend,

You'll be fine,

You'll be fine.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

You've got time to rediscover your life,

You've got time to rediscover your faith,

There's nothing to worry about,

Cos you'll get out,

And you know we won't be late.

Boy, you've got confidence,
And boy, you've got faith,
And you're dreaming up these things in your head.
And when the marrows burn through,
Your reason, she'll find you,
And you'll be out of that hospital bed.

And you're in a whitewash...

But you'll be fine,

You'll be fine.

Whitewash...

I wrote this down for him so he could read it, and I know that one day he will - I just hope I'm there to see it.

The Ins and Outs of Love

This is, well I guess this is a song, and it's a song about a girl. It's funny how a friend of mine commented on how the snippet "I've found what I'm lookin' for" made her think of falling in love which made me think of "the chase", the courtship, but when the inspiration finally struck to finish this song I was looking out of my window, and here you have it - comfortably in love - awed, even.

We were watching stars fall from your porch
While I marveled in the beauty of your eyes,
And all was dark but the light of your torch,
Thank God I’m alive.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

From the hair that sweeps your eyes
On a lonely Summer night, and that
I never wanna be anywhere else.
From the way you laugh “hello”
And they way you’re never letting go,
I’m mesmerized.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

“Stay with me”, you say,
“Lift your eyes unto the moment.”
We’re lying there, flying free.
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.
Nowhere I’d rather be.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

Nature’s dancing to your sound
That’s hushed
Like a shooting star,
And I’m driving the miles,
And I’m travellin’ far
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

I’m drowning in this feeling,
And you amaze me
Cos you’re leavin’ me reelin’
And I’m beggin’ for more
Cos I’ve found, I’ve found,
I’ve found what I’m lookin’ for.

Thank God I’m alive.
Thank God I’m alive.

Thank God I’m alive.

This is running on a bit of a funkier "American Love" melody, but acoustically it'll turn out beautifully. This song kinda spawned the "Our Summer Year" "sessions", if I could even call it that. I'm really proud of this thing.

Middle of Nowhere

I'm still not exactly sure how I spawned this little song, but it definately has to do with a time in my life where I was feelings kinda lost with the world and my life until I realised you can't just sit around waiting for something to happen, you've gotta take it into your own hands and actually make the most of what you're given. I think that's a thread there is to this entire album, or where a lot of my ideas are headed towards: hope in hopeless situations, kinda like "The Glass Passenger". Thank God for Andrew McMahon.

As the cars pass the highway,

The planes are taking off,

And we're in the middle,

And we're feeling lost.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

And the circles spin of their own accord,

And we all just play along.

The feeling of being, the feeling of doing,

The feeling of everything wrong.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

Life's more than the static

That surges through the

Power of the unknown,

While standing still

We saw a world

Out of our control.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

With peace looming on the horizon,

We're beginning to realise where we went wrong

In not moving forward, and living in the past,

When all it took was a single step

To make the present last.

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

And the river swims on unabashed,

We're all going round in circles,

And we're all going nowhere fast.

And we're breaking free of this cycle,

Hearing past the silent sound,

We're in the middle of the middle of nowhere,

But we're going somewhere now.

Hope seems to hide when you need it most, but eventually the game of hide-and-seek where you're left waiting for hope and inspiration is over.

That Girl From The Bar At Two In The Morning

This is probably the first song I "mastered" lyrically for this album. It's about a girl who has a paradigm shift, tired of all the meaningless sex in a meaningless life, rebelling from everything she was ever taught and everyone she has ever loved. She needs to sort it all and start over, find her hope, and learn to fly again.

She fixes her hair on a Saturday night,

And it's just routine, and it's not alright,

And she's a little conservative,

Like her mother taught her to be.

And her head's all abuzz,

With her dress lying low,

Wondering if her boy,

If he ever would know.

'Cos he means nothing,

But everything to her.

The broken window let the light in,

And she's leaving the bed sheets,

All drenched in sin,

And he means everything,

But nothing to her.

She's driving away at 3 in the morning,

Leaving her conquest without any warning.

Leaving to find her hope

On an broken road,

And she's chasing the darkness

And finding her light.

She's chasing fairies in the dark,

And she's trying to find her hope

Beneath the light of an empty street lamp.

There was no fairy to be found

But she found the wings on the ground,

And she's learning to fly again.

She fixes her hair on a Saturday night,

And it's all okay, everything's alright,

And she could be anything she wanted to be

So she just plucked from her hair her lucky clover

And promised herself she was starting over.

And starting over...

It's a bit of a ballad, however much or however little I tried to avoid it.

The Concept

All The Lost Pictures is sort of like a coping mechanism on my own time, and it's become a bit of a project of sorts where by the end of the 15 or so songs I'll probably end up spewing out it'll all be sort of cut and polished and compiled into a lyrical album of sorts, with a visual companion sort of thing like the liner notes to a CD and you'll have like all the little journal pieces I wrote with that and that'll be put into a book, just to sort of give me inspiration through the downtime, and then maybe from that I'll look into producing my own little rough cut of like the instruments and get a bit of a makeshift album in the process, but that's still far off.

So basically, it's an album in its own right, and here's where I'll post finished lyrics, revised lyrics, artwork and the little journal pieces where I talk about what inspired the album and the writing sessions and a lot of the little pieces (like the current "journal entry", the Our Summer Year mixtape), and hopefully some people will actually follow me through the process of making this metaphorical album. I'll also post up little bits about certain bands and photos and whatever's giving me inspiration along the way.

So why don't you join me? It'll be one hell of a ride.